A Wanted Ad

Married w/kid 20-something female seeks new immune system to replace current weak sauce one.

Ideal candidate is diligent, hardworking, and consistent.

Must be able to work with a pregnant body. Current system takes a vacation in the Bahamas during pregnancy. Unacceptable.

Experience drying up mucus is required.

Accepting applications now.

But for goodness' sake, don't tell my current immune system, or it might turn on me even more.