Charlotte
/These past nine months have been full of uncertainty for me. Observe:
"I'm sick, stressed, and exhausted. What if I lose this baby?"
"I think it's a boy. I want it to be a girl."
"I'm definitely fatter this time. Is it going to go away?"
"My student teaching starts when?!"
"Another ultrasound? What is this cyst thing?"
"My back hurts so bad I can't even walk, let alone exercise."
"It's so hot. What if I go into labor too early?"
"Seriously, though. I don't fit into anything."
"How is Maddy going to handle a baby in her house?"
"I'm going to love her as much as I love Maddy...right?"
"I'm going to love her as much as I love Maddy...right?"
"Breastfeeding? Again?"
Pretty and pink and complete with natural highlightsAnd they didn't stop. If anything, they got worse. And before I knew it, the stirrups were coming out, and so was my baby girl. And if you can believe it, in those few seconds, a million new worries came over me.
"Have I been a good mom to Maddy while it was just me and her?"
"Can I really have two kids?"
"What if something goes wrong with the birth?"
"This went by so fast. I'm not ready."
"I'm not ready."
"Can I really have two kids?"
"What if something goes wrong with the birth?"
"This went by so fast. I'm not ready."
"I'm not ready."
Seriously, you guys. That's what I was thinking. That I just was.not.ready. Pretty much my insecurity at its worst. Sad, but true.
Of course, less than 10 minutes later, I saw this little head of hair for the first time -
and I sobbed. I swear, I cried harder than I did when Madelyn was born.
Because I knew that I had been so, so wrong.
I was totally ready.
Of course, less than 10 minutes later, I saw this little head of hair for the first time -
and I sobbed. I swear, I cried harder than I did when Madelyn was born.
Because I knew that I had been so, so wrong.
I was totally ready.
She's lovely. We're home and doing great!