What I Like About Me

Here's the thing: I've kind of been struggling lately.

It's not easy to admit; it's pretty embarrassing, actually. But we all have things we struggle with, right? Somebody say "right." Right.

Well, right now, I'm struggling with my confidence. In kind of a bad way. No, not in a "depressed" way. I'm not in therapy or anything (not that that's a bad thing; I'm just saying I'm not at that point). But it is affecting my happiness. On a daily basis. It's also morphing into other issues - issues about loving and trusting others. How can I love others when I'm constantly comparing myself to them and being jealous of their lives, talents, personalities, etc.? And how can I trust others when I think that they must be always looking down on me (because I deserve it) and are therefore never acting out of friendship or love? It's been something of a slippery slope, and I could see it getting much worse without some action. 

So I'm taking some action. I'm reading a book on the subject; I'm constantly reminding myself that I am in charge of my happiness; I'm recognizing and documenting small victories and things I "do right" every day; I'm trying to recognize that when things don't go perfectly, it's not necessarily because of something I did wrong. And I'm trying to be aware of my strengths, which is where this post comes in.

Here's what I figure: it's one thing to say to myself, "I guess I'm not so bad at (blank)." It's quite another to proclaim what I like about myself to the world. Somehow, it makes it seem more like I actually feel this way, like I'm confident enough to not only recognize my strengths, but to tell you about them. It makes my confidence seem real. And, well... I really need it to be real.

So, in an effort to realize (understand) -- and realize (make real) -- my confidence, here's a little list of some things I like about myself.

In no particular order:

-I'm a good listener. Dallin often says I missed my calling as a therapist, and he might be right. I enjoy listening to people - letting them express themselves, learning about them, and, if possible, helping them out just a little bit. I think my listening skills have actually helped me learn a lot about people in general, which has made me more empathetic, which I hear is a good thing.

-I'm patient. Not Job-esque or anything, but I'm generally pretty patient, with people and situations.

-I'm smart. Or maybe well-educated. Or does realizing that those are two different things make me smart, so I should stick with that? Hm. Anyway, I like to learn, and I like to think. Result: I don't think I'm an idiot. Unless, you know, chemistry is involved.

-I'm good with money. I don't think I'm a cheapskate, but if something is a want, rather than a need, I have to want it really, really badly to justify actually buying it. I think I'm smart and realistic with our money; I don't hoard it, but I'd say I'm definitely more frugal than frivolous. I think I have a good balance, and I like it.

-My weight. Am I allowed to say this? It seems very taboo nowadays to actually like how much you weigh. I hope it doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but if I had to choose one thing I liked about my physical appearance (and I kinda feel like I do for the purposes of this post), it would probably be my weight. Not my body - there are plenty of things I don't like about that. But I'm at a healthy weight and I feel good about that.

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Well, there they are. A few things I like about myself. I realize that I'm by no means perfect at these things, but I think they are characteristics that I have that can help me become a better, more confident person. And I also think that recognizing them is a good start.

Thanks for hearing me out, friends. This was actually a really difficult post to write and I'm just a little bit proud of myself for actually writing it. And you know what? Being a little bit proud of myself feels good.

(a picture of me being proud)

I'd love to hear the things that you guys like about yourselves. Write them down, why don't ya? Forget about your weaknesses for a moment, and just show yourself some love. Deal? Deal.

4 things that made today magical

One.

Today was National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day. True story. We love us some strawberry rhubarb 'round these parts, so I ordered some goodness from Village Inn. We had some friends over to help us eat it...which is good considering the four of us still only made it through half the pie.

Also, I didn't take any pictures. Because I'm non-awesome like that.

Two.

I have been drooling over the Blue and White collection at Target for a while now. Yep, that's how classy I am: I drool over things at Target. Anyway, I have also been going to Target a lot lately in preparation for Flag Day.

Today, I was at a not-my-usual Target looking for Flag Day things, and I saw the Blue and White collection - on clearance. Like, half off clearance. 5 seconds later, my cart and my heart were full. THEN later, I had to go to my usual Target because not-my-usual Target did not have sufficient Flag Day supplies, and lo and behold, the Blue and White stuff was not on clearance. Or even little sale. At all.

I know! Magical, right?!

Three.

I found a swimsuit. I've discovered that many difficult problems that arise in the maternity wardrobe department (e.g. jeans, swimsuits) are best solved by just getting non-maternity type stuff in a size up. That is what my new swimsuit is. And it is grand.

Four.

So many errands. So much driving. Such a hot day. ALL SHADED PARKING SPOTS. No, seriously, I parked in like 5-6 different parking lots today and got shaded spots in all of them. You'd be amazed at the difference the shade makes! It's nice to not feel like I'm putting Maddy in an oven when I put her in her car seat. So nice. Note to self: hold out for the shady spots whenever possible.

And that, ladies and gents, makes for one magical Thursday.

Read this if you want to know what brand of baby we're having.

Have you all been on pins and needles?

Is the suspense killing you?

Are there any other cliches about waiting that I can write while I stall?

No?

Well, okay then.

I am pleased to announce that our wonderful new addition, who is still set to arrive August 8, and who will undoubtedly bring an insane amount of joy to not only our little family but to the entire world...

is...

a...



Yep, my instincts were wrong. And I don't mind a bit.

And yes, the technician was extremely confident. She said it wasn't just the absence of boy parts, but the obvious presence of girl parts. Even I could tell from the picture. thankyouverymuch.

So there you have it. In 5 short months there will be another little Harris princess.

Can you wait? Because I can't.

35 Things: February Update

And it continues...

2. Have one month when I go to the temple weekly (halfway done) - Tell me if you think this is cheating: my bro-in-law (who is leaving on his mission to Paraguay in May...yay...that rhymes) visited the temple for the first time ever on Feb 19, and we're supportive and all, so we went. The next week, my little sister (who is getting married March 3) visited the temple for the first time ever, and we're supportive and all, so we went.

And I thought to myself, "Self, you could have planned this out better and gone to the temple every week for the month of February!"

And then my self responded with "Well, self, you could still make this work...just go for 4 consecutive weeks"

And I thought, "By golly, self, you're right. After all, I made these rules."

So I hereby decided that 4 consecutive weeks fulfills the "every week for a month" requirement. And so it is written.

So I'm halfway done with that one. Cheating? Bah.

7. Create a meal plan - at least once a week for every month - check.

12 Bake a new cookie every month - February's cookie: Rolo Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies, found on My Baking Addiction (click the cookie name to go to the recipe). And these were every bit as yummy as they sound and look. Yumzo.

25. Read 30 books - while I didn't make as much progress as I did in January, I read a couple books this month, bringing my grand total up to 7:

-Fire by Kristin Cashore: not a sequel to Graceling, but a "companion" to it. Really, really liked it. I plan on reading the third one when it comes out, thanks so much. 4 1/2 stars.

-City of Glass by Cassandra Clare: the third of The Mortal Instruments series, which I had to finish, but I'm pretty glad is behind me now. 2.75 stars.

29. Do not drink soda for one month - you.guys. If you don't know how huge this is, then you don't know me. I HAVE NOT HAD A SINGLE SIP OF SODA FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH. This is amazing. I am incredibly proud of myself for doing this. I won't blubber on about it, but it was not easy. BUT I DID IT. Holy crap. Go me. Now where's my DP?

30. Babysit for free - done. Just because it's done doesn't mean I won't do it for you and your kids. I'm willing to do it again. I probably will do it again. Cool.

35. Complete an act of service every month - again, won't go into detail, but I didz it.

So there you have it. I'm doing all right, no? Plus, I got started on several others on the list, including cleaning out/organizing the pantry, finishing the nursery, and donating old clothes to DI.

I'm really liking having this list, y'all.

35 Things: January Update

So I'm off to a good start on my 35 Things to do in 2011! Here's a quick update:

7. Create a meal plan - at least once a week for every month - done for 2 weeks in January. Holla!

12. Bake a new cookie every month - January's cookie: Oreo Cheesecake Cookies, recipe found here. They were okay. Not as great as the name would leave you to believe.

13. Clean out extra room - Dallin's aunt and uncle stayed with us one night this month, and since they needed a place to stay, this kind of needed to be done. And guess what? Dallin did it the weekend that I was deathly ill. Because he's the bomb(dot)com. Now I just have to refashion it into the cutest little girl room for Maddy. But it can be crossed off the list because it is definitely "clean."

25. Read 30 books - Obviously, not done yet, but definitely in progress. Here's what I've read, with a sentence or two on how I felt about each one:

-And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie: Actually very enjoyable, a little creepy (not really a bad thing, in my opinion). It kept me guessing. I'm glad I finally read something by the famous Agatha. 4 stars.

-Graceling by Kristin Cashore: Kind of a teen candy read, but an awesome one. I like the characters and I think the idea of "graces" is clever. 5 stars.

-Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout: Meh. Never really got into it. Great writing though. 3 stars.

-Matched by Ally Condie: Another teen read (they're fast and fun, ok?!). Futuristic setting that shows what society might become if we let it (I love that). Poetic writing. Loved it. 5 stars.

-Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta: A little hard to get into, and somewhat confusing at times. But it is a very touching story. 3.5 stars.

***Side note: Dangit it's embarrassing to admit that I like those teen reads so much. And both the ones mentioned above are the first in their series, so I've got to keep reading them. AND there's other ones on my list. Oh well. I shall not be ashamed. More refined stuff is on my list too! Side note over.***

26. Buy skinny jeans - Yep yep. Got em, like, the first week in January, with an American Eagle gift card I got for Christmas. Have I mentioned that American Eagle jeans are just the best for me? Well, they are. And I'm actually loving the skinnies. This was a big confidence thing for me, by the way. I've always thought I couldn't pull the look off, but I'm just going for it.

35. Complete an act of service every month - I won't tell you what it was, but trust me, it was done.

So yeah, feeling pretty good about this!

Also, I've chosen February for my no soda month. I'm calling it Fizz-Free February. And it's only partly because February is the shortest month of the year. But yes, that definitely had something to do with it. Anyone want in?

Positivity

Is everyone ready for Debbie Downer/Negative Nancy/any-other-sad-word-and-name-combo to be gone?

I totally am. I know I haven't blogged very much over the past several days, so you haven't really gotten to see grumpy/tired/generally-bummed-out Katie in all her glory. But she's been here - believe me. And now, I'm ready to get rid of her.

BECAUSE:

-Food and drink have stayed inside my body for two, almost three, days. Woot. I say again, woot.

-I just got back from a nice little trip to Sedona with Dallin. We flew up with my uncle (a pilot) and my dad, had lunch, and flew back. And even though I am not really so much a fan of small aircraft...fun!

-The Valentine's wreath I am making is turning out quite nicely, and I am proud. Also, I love Valentine's. I need to do more for it.

-Madelyn gets cuter every day. It doesn't seem possible, but it is.

-My house actually looks decent, thanks to my amazing hunk of a husband who cleaned it from top to bottom last weekend. Now I just need to keep it up. I can do that.

-Maddy is napping at Grandma's right now (Grandma watched her while we went to Sedona) which means I've got the time AND the energy (simultaneously!) to get things done.

Let's go.